Many of you know that I lost my daughter, Braelyn, in March of 2021.
Last night, a friend of hers shared with me part of a text conversation she had had with Braelyn back in 2020.
During a tough time, my darling daughter offered her friend these words of encouragement and wisdom:
"…remember that what we feed ourselves, we become. Make sure you are speaking kindly to yourself and about yourself and try to focus on positive things and love yourself mentally. We have to be strong and fierce when it comes to protecting our spirits and minds. I love you and you are divinely made. Don’t allow someone to compromise your peace. You can allow them to grow near you, but don’t allow yourself to be lost in the process of loving someone".
What a challenge! Love others and give them the room they need, even hold space for them, but not by sacrificing ourselves.
Truly supporting others in their growth doesn’t mean that we are responsible to fix their problems for them, or shame them because they don’t know enough yet, or even overwhelm them with too many of our own ideas. We can simply stand with them as they make their own choices and continue to love them, support them, and offer gentle guidance if they need it.
But holding space for others also does not mean that we lose ourselves in the process. In fact, making sure that you are whole first, may be the only way that you can truly be there for others.